


Gradients of grey

by Agent314



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Lighter than it sounds, Organized Crime, Polyamory, Secret Organizations, Some Humor, the relationships tags are not to be taken to heart, this is a ot13 house after all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-06-07 00:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15207008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent314/pseuds/Agent314
Summary: Underground work can indeed be an indicator of criminal behavior and evil-doings, but for RsQ and 5NT it is a matter of saving lives and fucking with the rich. They are two very similar organizations with Robin Hood syndrome  that dedicate their time and efforts to steal from the ugly rich people of Seoul to help the little people. Their leaders hate each other but they're soon to realize they need each other more than they could have expected.In which Jeonghan and Seungcheol hate each other for unkownn reasons and lead underground groups working for the underdogs in society as rivals, even thought their members are very bad at keeping a profesional distance. Also, Jisoo would like a break.





	1. The Start part 1: When the Moon eclipsed the sun.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In celestial bodies comes the first part of this drama

Working underground doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person, after all a lot of legal things are the very definition of immoral, but it certainly means your lines of what you’re ready to do are quite blurry. Seungkwan wouldn’t call himself a conman; just because he’s used to lying his way through life doesn’t make him a fake person, he’s not actually a criminal either since most of what he does is harmless sweet talk; it’s not a theft if the person gives you all their money voluntarily, besides he’s not all that interested in money and riches, what he’s usually after is a lot more precious.

Secrets and information are diamonds in his field of work; being able to charm passwords out of people’s careless lips is a talent not everyone has. He is well aware that if he had his leader’s face and body he would be unstoppable and maybe that’s why he doesn’t get that bitter when his friends make fun of him for being a little chubbier than the rest of them; the universe needs its balance after all.

Right now thought, the universe is being a bitch.

Right across his current target he locks eyes with Moon and his delicate façade quivers just the slightest. Moon is also very good with words, he is slick and direct to the point, but also he is handsome in ways Seungkwan can only be jealous of. If Seungkwan is convincing and confusing; Moon is hypnotizing and seductive. They have very different ways of obtaining what they want but right now it’s a gamble for any side since neither has yet to approach their target.

Moon is not exactly his enemy but he can’t say they are the best of friends either, since their leaders are the ones with the actual problems both groups try the best to avoid each other even if their lines of work are practically the same.

Underground work can indeed be an indicator of criminal behavior and evil-doings, but for RsQ and 5NT it is a matter of saving lives and fucking with the rich. They are two very similar organizations with Robin Hood syndrome  that dedicate their time and efforts to steal from the ugly rich people of Seoul to help the little people, they also deal with drug and human trafficking sometimes thought Mx and Bangtan tended to be more dedicated to those kind of jobs.

RsQ has been trailing this target for weeks, a man in the medical field with rights to very necessary drugs that people can’t pay for anymore; Seungkwan’s job is to get access to this man’s electronics so Wonwoo and Woozi can steal the information necessary to produce it at low costs. Because he knows Moon is actually there for the same reason he moves cautiously, these kinds of jobs usually play in a neutral zone where their leaders feud with each other doesn’t matter, because either one getting the information necessary will lead to the same result.

Moon greets him with a smile that screams trouble and walks straight up to the man they’re targeting, immediately establishing a conversation and it’s just a matter of time before he starts putting his disgustingly beautiful hands all over him in an obvious flirting manner that actually disguises the fact that Moon is pocketing what he can from the man and planting bugs on him.

“So… Moon is here and winning already” He whispers into his mic, knowing Woozi and Wonwoo are listening to his every breath. “It seems it’s going well for him”

“Fuck, I thought I had seen Eissa earlier but couldn’t actually confirm it” Answers Mingyu from his position at the streets, waiting for Seungkwan to get out and go in case anything went wrong.

“You should have said something” Their leader’s voice announces, it is obvious by his tone that he is annoyed but he sighs resigned” Kwan, stay for a little and make sure that if he doesn’t get him, you do. But do not interfere; both of you going at him would be suspicious”

“Roger that” Seungkwan answers and moves to the bar, close enough to keep a friendly eye on the scene but distant enough to pass as another simple client in the busy establishment.

Seungkwan knows their leader must be seething at the fact that 5NT had gotten the upper hand this time; it’s always a problem with him whenever they are involved. If he’s honest: he doesn’t get it. By all means they should have established an alliance long time ago, with the kind of work they do and the results they usually get, the way they have always worked with Mx to interchange information and actually get the products they need on the streets. But no, the simple mention of the rival (brother?) group makes Han incredible bitter, to the point he will be short at all of them for the rest of the week, especially now that Mingyu had let Eissa slip somewhere nearby and Moon had taken Seungkwan’s target.

Moon is definitely working his charms on the target in front of him, by now he assumes the man is fully bugged and probably ready to hand Moon both his lungs if the other asked, it’s disgusting but also a job well done, clean and discreet, probably the man won’t ever suspect this charming man he meets at a random bar is the one culpable for his drugs to go on the market at actually attainable prices. It is also starting to be very obvious to Seungkwan that the man in front of him is a disgusting pig, he has been trying to slip something into Moon’s drink for the past fifteen minutes and apparently he had just succeeded.

Seungkwan looks at Moon and taps his own glass as a warning, even if the work is technically done and they are rivals it would be a shame on him to let the other man get drugged and probably assaulted when he had every opportunity to stop it from happening. He doesn’t know if Moon is too distracted to notice or if the man doesn’t get the signal he sends him because he downs the drink like it’s nothing anyways.

“I know you said not to but I’m going in, sorry” He warns his teammates and hopes they don’t make as big of a deal out of it as he fears they will “Mingyu, be ready to meet me at the entrance now”

He knows the man hasn’t noticed him, he can be very discreet when he wants and tonight has been an actual quiet time for him, he approaches them as he sees Moon try to interchange numbers with the man, actually getting a hold of his phone, so he waits for a second for him to pass it back before he puts an annoyed expression on his face and walks up to the pair.

“Here you are! I thought we were meeting in NCT tonight” He says as he scolds Moon and takes his hands off the target “You’re such a distracted person, I don’t even know why we leave you alone”

“What are you talking about? Do I even know you?” Moon tries, sending a death glare his way, obviously whatever the man has given him is still not in effect and he is probably confused as to why Seungkwan is butting in his mission like this.

“Is there a problem here?”Asks the target, slipping a hand on Moon’s waist like it’s nothing.

“Oh! I’m sorry, didn’t realize you had ditched us for a date, you could have said” Seungkwan is good at faking confusion “I’m sorry to ruin your date but my friend here is missing a very important occasion and I don’t think Seok is going to be very happy at you for missing his birthday, maybe you could hang with your date other time”

Moon must have seen something in Seungkwan’s eyes because he sighs dramatically and pats the man’s hand still on his waist, he rolls his eyes and turns to kiss the man on the cheek whispering something in his ear before forcibly grabbing Seungkwan’s hand and walking them out of the bar.

“What the fuck was that?” Moon asks, obviously upset with him “I know I had already finished there but you’re not even in my team to be cutting me short like that”

“Look, I’m sorry but that last drink you took from him was no doubt laced with something, I was just trying to help” He defends himself and he sees Moon’s eyes widen “Is anyone picking you up? Because that’s my car on the curb”

“Yes… Thank you for getting me out of there then, I don’t know how I missed it” Moon says and maybe it’s the drugs, or maybe it’s just him being a snake, but he kisses Seungkwan on the cheek before a red motorcycle parks in front of them, Eissa’s whereabouts finally revealed. “Thanks again, get out before he does”

And just like that they’re gone. Seungkwan knows they’re going to get a call from Mx in a week or two updating them on the meds that 5NT has just gotten them, and Han will pout and punish them all for it, but at least for now he is content knowing the night had not being a complete waste. He walks to the car and Mingyu gives him a knowing look as he gets on. He knows he must have seen the kiss Moon gave him and the way he had blushed slightly, which for someone as him is already too much to show any reaction at all.

“Shut up and drive, Han is probably going to kill us anyways” He says and leans back, ignoring Mingyu’s chuckle.

“That sure I am” Answers Han from the line he hasn’t cut yet.

“If he doesn’t, I will” Says Wonwoo with an annoyed voice, as he is probably not sure what had happened entirely from his station.

“Might as well join in the killing party then” Says Woozi, and that’s it for tonight.

Maybe next week they’ll have more luck but at least they’re going home early and no one had gotten seriously hurt, to which he knows they’ll drink later so Seungkwan just lets the banter of his team mates carry him to slumber in the backseat of their totally not stolen car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess what the team names mean?


	2. Pt. 2: When a star collapses.

Hao hates missions like this one, when he knows Jun will have to go and probably seduce the information they need out of their target but he also knows his jealousy should be controlled when this kind of missions tend to go smoothly and no blood is ever spilled. Maybe he hates knowing that more often than not they’re fated to meet RsQ at the scene and that Seungcheol will be on edfe for the rest of the night when that happens, or maybe it’s the fact that he has to get his motorcycle out and sit in the cold until Jun is done with nothing to distract him.

Tonight he’s almost tempted to stride up to Gyu and chat him up just to bother him and entertain himself, but it would only earn him a scolding later and he is not really looking up to that. He’s been around the expensive bar where rich people go to drink their first world problems away for about an hour and a half, Jun had told them Boo was there as well but that he had gotten the target first in the most delighted tone ever, probably enjoying seeing the other man annoyed at losing this time.

He was starting to get pretty bored and his leather jacket was not being the best at keeping the cold at bay, maybe that’s why he’s happy to hear Boo is dragging Jun out of the bar by force; getting in a fight is bound to lift his spirits.

“What does that little devil think he’s doing?” Hoshi asks from his in ear, upset with the new developments in their mission “Jun was more than done already, there’s nothing to gain from this”

“Maybe that’s why Hao should wait before jumping him then” Chan says as if he’s reading his mind “Boo is not the kind to try to fuck us over just because”

“You’re too innocent, Han’s gang is all trouble” Seungcheol quips, it’s obvious he’s annoyed with the situation but he sighs as a sign he’s giving up “But Chan does have a point, don’t fight him until you know what’s going on”

“Right, but I am allowed to fight him once I know, right?” He asks, just to be a bother, in reality they wouldn’t fight with RsQ just because.

Unless it’s Gyu, who Hao is always ready to fight; no reason needed.

By now he’s out of the bar and Boo has his hand on his wrist, they’re talking and it’s a little bit of a surprise when they realize Jun has actually gotten drugged by their target, it makes Hao want to leave his manners and fight the man inside instead of Boo right now, but he knows that if the situation is really what he’s saying they need to get Jun out of there as quick as possible.

 Because apparently he is not the only one feeling like being a bother tonight he is forced to see Jun slip a kiss on Boo’s cheek before he hopes on the back of Hao’s motorcycle and they are off.

“Did you really have to do that?” He knows he probably sounds annoyed, but Jun just laughs and tightens his hold on his waist.

“What? He’s cute and probably saved my life tonight” It’s not really an answer but he doesn’t press it “Maybe it was the drugs, who knows?”

“Talking about the drugs, do you feel alright? Should I call Joshua?” Seungcheol asks Jun trough their shared line, sounding a little worried but also too hopeful to call their medic.

“I feel fine, but you should call Joshua anyways, just in case” Jun says and Hao knows he is probably feeling something but doesn’t want to admit it “His beautiful face is always welcome”

“Shut up” Chan also sounds a little worried but his disgust for Jun’s flirting does a good job at keeping it at bay “Also, hurry home, wouldn’t want you to die because you fell off Minghao’s bike like a loser”

* * *

 

Joshua is not really a part of their world, it’s just that he was once in the wrong place at the right time and now he’s in charge of making sure his friends don’t die whenever they get into too many troubles. He doesn’t judge them too harshly as he is a doctor and can understand firsthand how cruel the world can be and how the need to change it can burn in someone’s core, he just rather stick to healing and not dwell too deep into organized crime like his friends do.

Right now he’s regretting it a little bit as he had just gotten home from the hospital when the call came, he hadn’t even changed when he heard Hoshi’s bike park right outside his apartment and a silent curse left his lips when the younger boy started to make annoying noises to make him hurry up.

“Do you realize I’m a doctor? I could kill you and make it look like an accident” He says with the sweetest smile he can muster, enjoying the brief panic that it causes on the other boy as finishes putting his backpack and tightening the straps.

“You would never, you’re too kind” Hoshi says and passes Joshua a helmet that he should be wearing instead “Also, Jun is absolutely out of it so we need to hurry before he gets killed by Chan”

“Is it too bad?” They take off and the wind makes Joshua feel a little better, even if the worry is starting to claw its way up his stomach “Do you know what they gave him?”

“We’re not sure, maybe Rohypnol because it took a little too long to act up but also he’s clingy as hell” Hoshi answers as they speed around a curve and Joshua is sure he’s going to die before they get there “He’s been trying to squeeze the life out of Chan and actually kissed Minghao because apparently he was being, and I quote; “a little jealous turd.””

Hoshi laughs a little and Joshua does too, but it’s clear both of them are worried about what a man in the medical field could have slipped into Jun’s drink, the chances of it being something typical are not slim but they all have heard of the nasty drugs that go around in some circles.

When they get there they are greeted by a fuming Minghao sitting by the door and a stressed looking Seungcheol who takes no time dragging Joshua into the house. 5NT’s little hideout is actually very nice, a little victorian style house with flowers growing on the sidewalk and lively round windows that don’t let you question the moral integrity of the people who live there. Inside it’s humbly decorated and usually marked by the living of five active young men who had too little time to tidy up but it’s not actually a pighole so Joshua makes do with it and leaves his shoes by the door, following Seungcheol into the living room to be met with a very disgruntled Chan and a crying Jun.

“Hello, Junnie. Why are you crying?” He asks as he gets closer to the pair, kneeling by the couch and putting a hand on the boy’s knee, grabbing his attention and taking the opportunity to look at his eyes to see if they’re focused, which they are, barely. “What did that bad man do to you?”

“I’m fine, a little dizzy, but Chan won’t let me hug him anymore. Why doesn’t he love me? Is it because I kissed Boo?” From what Joshua can see; the boy is a mess, he is barely getting the words out of his mouth and his pulse is a little erratic, but thankfully that seems to be the worst of it.

“You kissed Boo?” Both he and Seungcheol ask at the same time, and he goes to check for Jun’s temperature “How did that go for you?”

“I made him blush! I’m such a good boy” He exclaims proudly and closes his eyes for a little too long before sighing and reaching out to Chan again “Why are you so big now? Who gave you the right to grow up?”

“Ugh! You’re being disgusting again, we talked about it” Chan says, rolling his eyes but he leans into the hug and pats Jun’s head with an exasperated sigh. “I do love you, but you’re not you right now”

“Also, what do you mean you kissed Boo?” Seungcheol repeats, taking a seat on the other side of the couch an eyeing him carefully as Joshua finishes his examination on Jun.

“He was nice to me” Jun says and that’s it.

“Alright, so… you’re lucky the man was a very basic pig and did not have red force on him or this could have gotten ugly, maybe he liked Jun,  he is just most likely on a mix of Rohypnol and also very drunk, he needs lots of water and rest, also a lot of Chan’s cuddles at the moment” He says with a smile, patting Jun on the knee “You need to be more careful, this could have been really dangerous, what if Boo hadn’t been paying attention tonight?”

“We would have handled it” Seungcheol says curtly and looks at Joshua with a warning look in his eyes “Thank you for coming on such a late notice, you must be tired”

“I always come when you call” He says and knows it’s time to drop the subject of RsQ saving one of them tonight “You know I rather be here and tired knowing you are all well than at home and worried you’re going to bleed to death or poison yourselves trying to fix it”

“Let me take you home, the kids need to rest as well” Seungcheol says as he gathers his car keys and his jacket “Chan, keep him company and please don’t kill him if he gets too annoying, it’s not his fault”

Joshua says his goodbyes, kissing Jun on the cheek and Chan on the forehead, walking out to get a hug from an excited Hoshi and a sulking Minghao, both walking into the house to get Jun some cold water and maybe a couple of blankets for the couch.

The drive home is a little longer, a little quieter as well, they both want to say things they don’t know how to put into words, they’ve been keeping them quiet for too long to let them spill now but they have also festered in their chests for too long, enough to spread to their lungs and rot their stomachs into little knots.

“You should send Han a thank you, for saving Jun tonight” He starts, fully knowing how bad it can go from there.

“I don’t need to send Jeonghan anything ever” Seungcheol says through gritted teeth “Unless it’s a warning for him to get out of my way I don’t need him ever in my thoughts, on my prayers or my thanks”

“Cheol, this stupid hate you have for each other, you do know it’s useless, right?” Joshua sighs, tired of it all already “It’s not going to change the fact you still love him and…”

Joshua’s train of speech gets cut short when Seungcheol steps on the brakes and violently parks them just a mile short from his apartment, the older man steps out of the car and throws the door so hard Joshua’s entire frame shakes. They’ve been here before, and Joshua doesn’t know why he can’t just drop it, he knows it’s not like he can fix it, but it’s like a scab he will scratch even when he knows he shouldn’t if he wants it to heal right.

He is a doctor but there are just some wounds he cannot heal, this one is like that; too deep to sew shut, too fresh to forget, too painful to ignore… He sighs and gets out of the car as well, he’s hurt by the situation but most of all he is tired of dividing his time between his two friends, between his two families.

“I wish you would think about it, because I know he won’t” Joshua says and he thinks he sees a tear slip out Seungcheol’s eyes, then again it must be a trick of the light because Seungcheol doesn’t cry “I guess you both just forget about it  because you know I won’t”

With that he takes a deep breath, closes his coat a little tighter around his frame and starts walking the mile to his apartment, fully aware it will feel much longer and that next morning they’re both going to act like it never happened, because ignoring pain is just the way the roll, and maybe if they walk fast enough it won’t ever catch up to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know jack about drugs, sorry.  
> Also, Joshua needs a break.


	3. Pt. 3: When stars align

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just soft fluff to lure you into a false sense of security ;)

Lee Seokmin is a man of many talents; he can sing like a god, he can dance a little and he’s awfully funny, plus he would like to think he is quite attractive as well, however the thing he is most proud of is how his coffee gets people feeling brand new in the mornings and gives them hope to live another day at night.

His little café is nothing special, a small business two blocks down from a college with a simple menu that caters to poor tired students and stressed professors alike, affordable enough for all and apparently a blessing to mankind if some of his clients are to be believed. It is a small corner store, with big windows and pink walls with blue accents, the outside is always brimming with flowers, some potted and permanent, some in vases and some stuck to the wooden chalkboard in front, put there by dedicated clients who swear he has saved their lives.

One of these dedicated clients is no other than Boo Seungkwan, a business mayor that has had one too many break downs in his store and that now buys yellow roses and sunflowers for him whenever he has money to spend. He is loud and bright, and gets Seokmin’s humor in ways very few people do. The boy in question is now busy stapling some daffodils onto the board, God the only one knowing where he got them.

“Hello there, mind telling me what do you think you’re doing?” He asks as he leans against the door, this time is quiet and only two clients in the store give him time to hand Jimin the reigns when he notices Seungkwan. “You’re too happy for a Monday afternoon”

“I’m just paying my respects to you, oh mighty coffee deity!” Seungkwan laughs and steps back to look at his work; the flowers a little crooked and definitely not very happy at being handled roughly yet he looks satisfied “I think I did an okay job, maybe 8 out of 10”

“How about 0 out of 10? They were pretty before you did that to them!” He laughs but throws his arms around Seungkwan anyways, this is a friend he appreciates a lot after all “How was school?”

“Terrible, the most painful time in my life, but you already knew that” The other sighs, melting into the embrace “Make me a cup of coffee so I can offend Jimin by putting too much sugar on it”

“You’re evil” Seokmin laughs but complies, because keeping Seungkwan happy means he will get company and laughter for at least a couple hours, the boy will bother him around the store until he remembers he has homework or something “urgent” comes up and then he will leave with the promise of coming back the next morning before class, only to forget for a day or two.

Seokmin might as well make the most of it while it lasts.

* * *

 

He likes to think he doesn’t play favorites, everyone who comes to his café is to be treated with love and respect, he is always giving out smiles and the worst jokes known to mankind, however, he will be the first to admit that the boy now trying to tape lavender on top of Seungkwan’s daffodils is indeed a client with a special place in his heart.

Kwon Soonyoung is a dance mayor and he has a personality larger than life itself, always bringing laughter with him and the most outrageous stories to tell Seokmin over his coffee.

“The goblin is at it again” Jimin informs him as he looks at the  window with disgust, it’s not that he hates the boy but that both him and Seungkwan like to bother him by drinking their coffee special with half a ton of sugar and not a gram of shame. “He is going to scare the new students away”

“Where did he even get lavender in the city?” Seokmin sighs but walks out for the second time today, feeling a smile already forming on his lips to stare at the blue haired man in front on his store. “I would say you did better than Seungkwan, maybe a 1 out 10”

“I’m a 10 out 10, always. I’m sorry I don’t make the rules” Soonyoung replies, finishing his masterpiece “You should introduce the famous Seungkwan to me, he sounds like a radical dude and there’s not enough of us around”

“I will just ignore the fact you just used the word radical in my presence to agree, I’m actually surprised my darlings have never crossed paths before, you two are fixed clients here, you even order the same thing” He laughs and takes Soonyoung’s hands in his in a warm welcome “Maybe I should set you up together, I think you need someone to keep you in check”

“I already have you and your coffee, I don’t need anything more” Soonyoung answers and they both laugh as they enter the store for a drink, Jimin already having the corner table ready for them in the most exasperated mood “Thanks Jiminnie, remind me to leave you a great tip next week when I get paid”

“I’m charging you extra the entire next month if you break another mug” Jimin warns in a whisper but leaves them to it.

Soonyoung will chat with Seokmin about his new choreographies and explain why glitter is his worst enemy for the hundredth time as the store fills up with light, both from his energy and the sun starting to set, giving his last effort to warm the walls of their little corner of the world.

They will talk until eight when Soonyoung will kiss his hand and run out the door, leaving nothing but an echo of happiness that probably will take four days to come back again.

Seokmin likes to think he has no favorites when it comes to his little store, as every client who enters is served with love and respect, but he has to admit to himself, as he collects daffodils and lavender from the wooden board in front of his store, that there might be a slight bias on the clients who get his most sincere adoration, his loudest laughter and his purest smiles, he knows he puts just a little extra care into making their cups and will get upset when Jimin makes coffee for them because he feels it won’t be the same.

If when he goes home that night he is carrying a couple of mashed flowers in his bag, and twin echoes of laughter in his heart, then he thinks it’s nobody’s business but his and that no one ever needs to know.

* * *

 

He decides that because of their different schedules that getting Soonyoung and Seungkwan to meet in person will be hard, so he somehow convinces them to join a group chat with him. That way at least he can have their ridiculous updates in a single place and get them to at least talk to each other before throwing them to the sharks.

**DK has created _“Flower Power”_ chat room.**

**Dk** has added **Tangerine** to the chat room.

 **Dk** has added **10:10** to the chat room.

 **Dk:** Hi guys!!! You are the ones I’ve been talking nonstop about.

 **Tangerine:** Nice to finally know the famous Soonyoung who thinks his flower work is better than mine.

 **10:10:** My competition, such a pleasure.

 **Dk:** See, you’re already bantering, I love it. I hope we get to become closer to each other.

 **10:10:** We’ll have to see, any man who claims to be better than me at something is usually an enemy.

 **Tangerine:** Well, anyone who dares take my goblin status is usually an enemy.

 **10:10:** Oh! Jimin calls you a goblin as well?? This is war!

 **Tangerine:** It’s not my fault he has a thing against sugar!

 **10:10:** I KNOW RIGHT

 **Tangerine:** WHAT A BORE

 **10:10:** I think I love you already.

 **Tangerine:** Same!!!!

 **Dk:** I’m so proud of you guys, my little goblins…


	4. Pt. 4: The comet's tail.

Wonwoo thinks he will always be angry at the fact that university had failed him, too anxious to sit in a classroom full of people for hours on end and force himself to work on papers that he doesn’t care about when all he has to do is spend his afternoons reading a thousand programming books and toying with websites that give him no challenge at all.

Jihoon has always said it was hard to be too smart in a world full of dumb people; another genius mind left to rot because society doesn’t like the way he’s quiet and private with his affairs, too little patience to take the things life throws at him.

The pair of them are the only ones in the group that have some legal day jobs; Jihoon sporadically producing music for people he hates and Wonwoo writing for a local paper that’s been cataloged as “too judgey” and “hipster” for the general public. Even then, they get bored easily and get most of their income from working out details for other groups in their line of work for double the price they should actually charge depending on their mood. Mx, always one of their most loyal clients, are usually in need of new equipment because they have little to no care when working and they get in physical fights almost every mission they make, so they’re the usual victims of overpricing by their side.

Maybe that’s Wonwoo likes working for NCT the most, a big group who usually asks them for more security and observation gadgets and software, being the case they work in the field but also have a little club that serves as the community’s safe space to drink and relax, it is also a place where most exchanges tend to happen, be it drugs, money, information or people, they usually have been touched by TY at least once before they go out to the streets or their freedom. It’s just a coincidence NCT is also one of the hotspots for young people in the city, since nothing actually gets sold there.

Right now he’s bored and playing solitary in his million dollar set up feels like a waste of time and resources, so he just closes his eyes and tries his best to think about something new he can make for the team to be safer when they go out. The little incident from their last mission still has them a little shaken up, Seungkwan usually one to be careless if their target seems easy enough, if Moon had gotten drugged and almost groped they don’t like to think what would have happened to their youngest.

Jeonghan doesn’t like to talk about it but he spends the first week sulking around their house and even gets into a little fight with I.M over the drugs being delivered thanks to 5NT’s hard work. It has always been a mystery for them why their leaders are so angry at each other all the time, but RsQ tries their best not to interfere with the other’s group missions as long they do the same, even when this measure fails them 75% of the time as they’re bound to run into each other more often than not.

Wonwoo sighs and gives up, the overall mood in the house has him on edge and decides that a drink will do him better than to stare at a blank screen for another hour, besides, because NCT knows he favors them they always give him free drinks with half the alcohol because they know he’s a lightweight. He also knows that even if it’s Wednesday afternoon there will be people in the bar, and if he’s lucky maybe he will even run into Hope and finally convince him to allow him to put his new toy to the test.

 

* * *

 

 

Having coffee with Joshua has become one of the few rituals Jeonghan still has from his “normal” life. Taking the time to dress up nicely, do his hair and go out to talk about everything in the real world with a friend he adores surely helps him keep sane in the cloud of stress and worry that’s his life as an underground “criminal”. He’s been collecting weight on his shoulders the whole week, worrying about the what ifs from their last mission, and also thinking about what 5NT ended up doing to fix what actually ended up happening, he knows he could just ask Joshua right now, but he also knows he won’t.

They’re in a little coffee shop that Seungkwan had recommended, tucked away from the world and its rush, and talking about little nothings, mostly about Joshua’s unusual patients and the most recent intern hookups happening in the hospital he works at. Joshua always enjoys it; having Jeonghan like this, when they don’t have to worry about anyone being hurt or the police suddenly busting them for what they’re doing. Jeonghan knows it and tries his best to give him the time and the space, the hours to sit silently and stare at him as he speaks, his hands moving with his words in delicate gestures and his smile always so bright it feels he has to blink more often for his eyes to adjust.

“So… what about you? How have you been?” Joshua asks, his hands curling around his cup of warm tea “Not that I’m complaining, but it’s been a while since you called me over?”

“It’s been quiet, we were working on the marigold drugs as you know, but it’s on the Mx guys now, they’ve been working hard on the lab and everyone else is on standby” He answers in a very low voice, not that there’s a lot of people around to hear them but caution never hurts “And you know how last mission went, probably even more than I do. How’s Moon?”

Joshua makes a face at the bitterness on his voice, he hadn’t meant to let it out but somehow it had gotten tangled in his words.

“Moon is fine, it was nothing serious, maybe the guy really liked him and just wanted to make things a little easier” Joshua answers, a little disgusted with the information “They were really thankful, you know? That Boo got him out of there.”

“Of course he did, there’s nothing to be thankful for, they would have done the same for us” The words are bitter on his tongue, but he knows them to be true “I doubt _he_ was happy about it, thought”

“He was not” Joshua answers and sighs, there’s a weight on his breath that makes Jeonghan regret bringing it up because now it seems the other is bracing himself to take it where they know it’s going to hurt them all “I don’t think I can put up with it anymore”

This, the way he says it, the way his eyes are downcast and the way his hands do not shake, makes Jeonghan feel his words up to his bones. He knows what they mean, what will come next and he doesn’t want it, but he also knows he should have expected it and that he cannot stop it.

“I know this guy; he is also a doctor although a very young one, a foreigner and I think he’s been working with other groups even before he graduated and moved here, I think I’m going to hand you all over to him” Joshua says, and every one of his words take a breath out of Jeonghan’s lungs “I don’t think I can be in this weird in between forever, I don’t want to, and I hate to think that you’re making me choose so I will choose neither in the end, because I can’t keep waiting forever and I know you both are too stubborn to even think about it, to think about me with everything else going on. I’m sorry.”

Jeonghan knows he’s supposed to say something right now, to ask Joshua to rethink his decision, to plead him to stay and maybe cry a little on him, but he also knows that it would be selfish to do so, and that Joshua deserves to have this for himself, to get his life back, to be actually free and leave the drama behind, because while Joshua is in the middle of the fire, he is the one of them who can actually escape it.

So Jeonghan takes Joshua’s hands in his, and shakes his head.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, I understand” He says, honestly “And even if we don’t see eye to eye on anything else, I know he will understand as well”

“How can you be sure?” Joshua’s hands are still steady but his voice is not, the benefits of being a doctor he supposes.

“Because the only thing we ever agree on is you, that we love you and that you deserve the world” Jeonghan admits “I want you to be happy and I know you’re not, and will not be as long as you’re in the middle of this, and I wish I could fix it for you but I know I can’t, so you, leaving… it makes sense”

“It’s not like I will stop talking to you, I could never. It’s just that I want normal for once” Joshua whispers “Whatever normal is supposed to be, I guess.”

“Okay” Jeonghan says, because there is nothing else he can say.

They call him a swindler, as much of a charmer as their Seungkwan is, just as smart as their Jihoon, just as witty as their Wonwoo, maybe a little more coordinated than their Mingyu, but he is an excellent actor and knows how to put an act that can make people believe whatever words come out of his mouth. He can sell the sky if he wanted and people would buy it twice just because he says so. So he tells Joshua they’re going to be okay, that a distant friendship is all they need and that it doesn’t have to change the way they interact when they do meet again. But if he’s honest he knows the words are nothing but air, and that he’s probably going to break once Joshua’s out of sight.

He wonders if the worst part of it is that he knows how fake he is being at the moment, or if it is that Joshua knows him well enough that he can tell.

Maybe the worst part of it is that neither of them will do anything about it, and neither of them knows if they should, but the thing they’re both are sure of at the moment is that they’re going to regret it when the day is over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joshua really needed a break, I guess.


	5. Pt. 5: The sun, the moon, and all of the stars.

If he’s being honest, the month had gone from bad to worse.

Soonyoung doesn’t really know how things had managed to get this bad, all he knows is that if having Jun drugged and almost taken advantage of is bad, having Joshua break their professional arrangement barely a week later had felt like the world was ending for sure.

They all have been moping in their own ways; Minghao dedicating his time to going out more frequently and getting a little more drunk that he should with Jun at NCT while Jun takes advantage of this to drag Minghao to other worse underground places where the rest of them don’t ever step a foot in if it’s not work related; Chan going at his studies like it’s nobody’s business, staying up reading and focusing all his energy on it during the day and then pretending the rest of them can’t hear him cry himself to sleep some nights; Seungcheol the worst of them, throwing himself at the gym and working out until he is almost passing out and forcing one of them to go fetch him before he hurts himself, randomly getting angry at things and then going completely silent for long periods of time.

To be honest, they’re all a mess; they haven’t been taking jobs because they don’t have the focus to carry anything out in a satisfactory manner, and they know RsQ hasn’t either because at least Joshua was fair in his breaking up affairs and had left them ALL to the dust. They know because even if they are falling apart at the seams, both groups have been receiving calls the whole month to do little jobs that the other refused only to be met with the same answer.

Soonyoung wouldn’t say he’s okay with it, but he’s a little better at handling it than his friends seem to be, it’s not that he’s not upset or angry, but he knows it’s the best thing for Joshua in the long run, and he has been kind enough to let them down nicely and made very clear that he still liked them enough to keep in contact every now and then, he just needed a break to focus on his own life.

He thinks maybe he’s been pushing himself a little more with his choreographies nowadays but it really isn’t as bad as some of his friends are making it to be, he has always been a perfectionist and an overachiever, so he doesn’t understand why Seokmin keeps remind him to rest and to not work himself to death.

This thing he has with the owner of his favorite coffee shop in town is a little strange but he doesn’t know what he would ever do without it, the constant chats about normal life, the quality coffee that keeps him on his feet and the butterflies in his stomach that keep him up all night. The last ones in particular seem to have multiplied since they decided to open the stupid group chat with Seungkwan.

Soonyoung doesn’t personally know Seungkwan yet, so it might be too early to decide he has a crush on him the same way he has a crush on Seokmin, but it might be the start of it, the other boy being so in tune with his humor, always a kind word to give him whenever he was feeling down, a steady presence that he didn’t know he need it and doesn’t understand how he has grown so attached to someone he has only known for a month or so and has never seen.

The rest of his housemates bother him nonstop about it, since it’s one of the only good things to happen to them this month, and seeing Soonyoung softly smile at his phone while he’s curled up in the couch makes them think that maybe they’re going to be alright and that the world is not burning after all, it’s just that sometimes fate has other plans than you, and now they’re never going to go to Jicheol’s wedding like they had planned and that just makes everyone forget that life goes on for a second.

While it has been an hectic month; Soonyoung would like to think things are on the rise, slowly but steady they have been mending themselves into human beings that can function in society and he knows they’re all getting a little restless, it’s only matter of time before they take another job and start getting themselves lost into it, distracted by responsibilities and then they will move on, because life doesn’t wait for anybody and they have a little way to catch up.

* * *

Hansol doesn’t really understand why Joshua decided to contact him, from what he has gathered the older man has been working as an exclusive medic for these two groups for more than five years, it is absolutely crazy that he would hand them over to a new face that has barely worked in the underground for a year and a half, mostly out of need and has just moved into the country after living in the States for his whole medical training.

He decides not to ask directly because it seems like a delicate thing but he also doesn’t understand how is he to be trusted with Joshua’s most precious people if they won’t really talk to him at all. He understands it must be hard for them to adjust to such a big change in their routines but Hansol is starting to understand why someone could tire of being caught in the fire that’s burning between Han and Coups.

He is introduced to Coups first, the older man has Hansol on edge immediately, he is the perfect image of what someone might think a underground criminal looks like, all sharp edges, but after talking for a while it becomes clear that while he is really picky and a little annoying it is mostly out of the hurt he feels about Joshua leaving and none of his bitter remarks are actually directed at Hansol at all. If he’s honest; he likes Coups, he finds him to be a kind man, who has dedicated his life to work for what he knows is right even if the world would punish him for it. He is also the kind of man that would do anything for his group, he’s the one covered in most scars and he is also the only one who fully dedicates his life to their underground job, the rest of the group having some sort of day job or studies to dedicate themselves to.

He hasn’t met the rest of 5NT yet, he knows their names and has looked at their medicals files, he knows exactly how to treat each of them individually if the need arises but he has yet to see them face to face, he doesn’t know if this is a good thing or if he is being kept at arms lengths, but he understands, after all a heartbreak is what has them in this situation in the first place.

If Coups was the kind of man that intimidated at first but melted after a while, Han was completely the opposite; he was a man that gave you a false sense of security when first meeting him, all soft talk and charming smiles, only to learn he can con you out of your clothes if he wanted, he also makes it very clear to Hansol that he’s taking him in only because Joshua has recommended him but that he doesn’t trust him. In the same sense, to Hansol this is a man with an overprotective streak that worries about his team and that has crafted a delicate network to help out people who need it with no other reason than to be a good person, try as he may to hide it behind a poisonous façade.

In contrast to 5NT, RsQ has also introduced him to the second in command, and this is when Hansol realizes he is being truly tested. Woozi is a small man and from afar he might look defenseless, he might also trick you into believing you should pay attention to his leader instead of him, but his eyes are made of steel and Hansol is sure that this man has all the information he needs to destroy him where he to hurt his team or betray their cause.

Hansol really doesn’t understand the relationship these two groups have, he doesn’t understand the feud between them nor does he understand why Joshua has decided to leave it behind him when it clearly pains him a lot. He doesn’t understand why Han and Coups feel like they are two sides of the same coin trying their hardest to repel each other, or why Woozi has accepted him as their medic if he knows everything Hansol is hiding. He doesn’t understand why it’s been two weeks and he has barely met any of the people he is supposed to treat in an emergency, and he sure doesn’t understand what his place in all of this is, but he’s always been known to be a free spirit, so if he decides he’s going to worry about it all tomorrow, then that’s a problem for tomorrow’s Hansol.

What today’s Hansol does understand is that he has just voluntarily walked into a war that he can’t leave, and that tomorrow’s Hansol is probably going to hate him for it.

* * *

Seokmin is not one to get excited about nothing, no matter what his personality might make you believe he saves his most raw emotions for things that honestly matter as he has found that happiness is greatest when coming from an honest place.

 Right now he is brimming with a feeling that he can only describe as “yellow”; he’s feeling yellow and that might mean he’s bursting with happiness and excitement, or it might mean he’s going crazy, finally.

It’s been almost two months since he started that stupid group chat with Soonyoung and Seungkwan and whatever he was expecting from it has been left to the dust by a friendship he never knew he was missing in his life. The three of them click immediately, like pieces of a puzzle falling into place and finally allowing them all to breathe to their lungs’ fullest capacity; it makes them all question how they have been living for so long without each other.

They talk every day, about everything and nothing at all, he knows both of them are having a harsh month because of school and life, but he feels accomplished in the fact that he can go to sleep knowing that he has lifted the burdens from their shoulders even if it’s for a second by texting them sweet words and the oldest jokes that make them both threaten to leave the chat room.

 He doesn’t exactly understand what this yellow feeling brewing in him is or what to do with it, but for the time being he picks sunflowers from a flower shop not too far from the café, knowing the boys will like them and that the flowers might force a smile out of them.

Today he knows this excitement he feels is justified, because after all the talking they had done over the phone; he is finally going to introduce them to each other. It had taken a while, figuring a way to adjust their schedules to match, but in the end one of Seungkwan’s classes had gotten cancelled on one of Soonyoung’s free days and now they’re finally going to meet to have a coffee and probably drive Jimin into quitting the café.

He’s busy putting the flowers in a vase on their corner table when Seungkwan comes in, he is a little thinner than last time he saw him and he has dyed his hair a soft baby pink that makes his eyes stand out and match with the pastel colored converses he is wearing now that he has ditched the business student look. Even with all of this, the first thing Seokmin notices is how his eyes light up when they spot each other, and how his smile seems to make butterflies come to life inside his stomach, it’s not something he knows what to do with but his body betrays him and he is smiling so wide his eyes almost close before he can stop himself.

“Seok!” Seungkwan almost drops them with the force he puts into his embrace, he is clinging to Seokmin like his life depends on it and a soft laugh is making him feel like his head is about to go into the clouds “Did you miss me?”

“Of course, it’s not like I talked to you just an hour ago” He says, rolling his eyes, but actually he has missed him; he has missed them. “Are you nervous to finally meet Soonyoung?”

“Don’t get sassy with me! And of course not” The boy answers, dropping his bag on the floor and taking the spot right by the corner of the booth, where the walls between the corner windows hide him from people passing by. “He already knows everything there is to know about me, this face to face is mostly to bless him with my beauty. Honestly; he’s been deprived”

“Right, of course, how could I forget how humble you are?” Seokmin knows the other is just saying so to be a bother, it’s obvious in the way he taps his fingers on the table that he is just as excited as he is. “Do you want the usual?”

“Yes, please” He answers and takes out his phone, probably to see if Soonyoung had messaged them at all “He says he just looking for a place to park his baby, didn’t think he would bring the bike for something like this”

“I bet he wants to brag and look good, such a loser” Seokmin answers and shakes his head fondly, leaving Seungkwan at the table and going to prepare the boys some coffee.

Soonyoung has showed up a couple of times on his bike before and Seokmin is actually happy about the fact Seungkwan is going to get to meet him when he is probably wearing his fancy leather jacket and tight jeans instead of gym clothes, it is also a relief that Seungkwan had traded the busy suits and stuck up clothes for a comfortable pastel assemble that makes him look like the softest thing in the world. He doubts he can handle both of them at their best all at once, the confusing feelings he has getting a little louder at the idea of sitting on their shared corner table and talking in hushed tones to avoid angering Jimin into kicking them out, but he cannot wait for it to happen.

He is finishing getting their coffees ready when he spots Soonyoung outside the window, and he was right, he is wearing the leather jacket, too bad the bad boy illusion is broken by him having the most ridiculous smile on his face. He waves at him and signals him to hurry up; he can’t wait for his friends to finally see each other face to face.

Seokmin has imagined this moment for a while, he has mentally prepared for them to be loud and to probably break something in his store, he has also prepared for the possibility they might be too dumbfounded by each other’s pretty faces that they just end up having an awkward coffee date with him as a third wheel, he has prepared for scenarios where Jimin kills them all for being so loud and has dreamed of this one encounter to change their lives and give him answers to all the questions he has about the feelings that had grown in him without his permission.

What he never imagined was to direct Soonyoung to their corner table just to have him freeze on the spot; dropping the helmet he had been carrying on his hand and to look at Seungkwan like he doesn’t understand why he would be sitting on his table. He also never imagined Seungkwan would tense in his seat and look between Soonyoung and the door like he is scared for his life, his hands shaking just the slightest around his phone, his face losing all color.

What he definitely never imagined was for Soonyoung to curse and pick his helmet in a hurry before running out of the store without even looking at Seokmin, and he never imagined Seungkwan would vault over a table like that just to get his bag and leave just as fast as Soonyoung had done before him.

He has imagined this moment for a while, hoping for answers and a beautiful afternoon in the company of the people he holds closer to his heart, maybe end up with the promise of having another meeting like that, to have their group chat evolve into finally using pictures of each other as memes and joking about Soonyoung’s ugly practice clothes, and making fun of Seungkwan for wearing an actual vest to class, to have them mock him for being a young entrepreneur who serves them coffee and smiles, to maybe even fall a little bit in love.

What he never imagined was getting his heart broken before he has a right to complain about it, to be made invisible in what he would like to call the sanctify of his own home and for his friends to look like the world was ending and falling on their heads.

What he never imagined was that maybe Seungkwan and Soonyoung had known each other, and apparently they also hated each other.

Seokmin doesn’t know how a day can go so wrong, but if earlier he was confused as to how yellow was a feeling, now he doesn’t know how he’s ever going to explain what blue feels like.

In the warm of his beautiful store there’s nothing left but the bluest human to ever be, Seokmin hates himself a little for being hurt about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I love all my children the same" I say...  
> I'll start intruducing the others slowly I swear they all get their time to shine.


	6. The Middle part 1: Marigolds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start to something else, from stars to flowers.

Seungkwan knows he’s not the fastest on his team but he thanks every god above for the fact that Mingyu had forced him and Jeonghan to learn some free running, because Soonyoung- Hoshi, his treasonous head keeps screaming at him- is way faster and also has a motorcycle parked somewhere near. It feels wrong to be running after him like this, because he understands the fear he must be feeling, but right now there’s a more important matter to Seungkwan, and catching up to Soonyoung is primordial for it.

“Wait!” He doesn’t want to make a scene and right now they’re nearing the end of the inhabited part of the streets “SOONYOUNG!”

This finally stops him, maybe it’s the desperation on Seungkwan’s voice, maybe it’s the fact he just called his name, his very real name, very loudly, in a very public space. Maybe it’s the fact they both are reeling with adrenaline and thinking about the what ifs, about the fact that luck doesn’t seem to be on their side, and the realization that the reason they understand each other so deeply is because they have been living very similar lives without realizing.

“I didn’t know, I swear to you, this… I don’t know what this is” Seungkwan admits, completely clueless as to what to do for once, his usual charm totally forgotten, rendered useless by feelings he hates having “I don’t know what to do”

“This is a first, mister Boo not knowing what to do” Soonyoung says, and it’s a little cruel, but mostly he sounds  afraid “I also didn’t know, what the hell, Seungkwan? How can this be?”

“I would say destiny, but it sounds disgusting” He answers, almost without thinking.

“Hell yes, it does” Soonyoung laughs a little and by their postures it is obvious they are both starting to give up on their situation “What do we do?”

“Talk it out?” Seungkwan offers, because it’s the right thing to do, the only thing to do.

“I guess” The other answers and moves forwards, finally coming to meet Seungkwan face to face “What about Seokmin?”

“We should probably figure this out and then… beg for forgiveness, I suppose”

They both sigh because it’s right, going back at the moment would only get them hot coffee thrown at their faces, or worse; tears that they refuse to make happen. They walk to a little alleyway and talk it out. It’s not easy for them to see eye to eye, but the problems between their teams have always been actually between their leaders and they don’t really have any bad blood, just a lot of sarcasm to throw around and the forever present tension that they must respect what their leaders say because they know better.

The longer they talk the more obvious it becomes that their leaders may be on charge, but they definitely are very dumb, and they definitely don’t know better about this. They don’t interchange any vital information, they don’t reveal important secrets to each other, but they are honest about the friendship they have established and the fact they’re more afraid of someone finding out than they’re afraid of the other doing something to hurt them.

It doesn’t make sense to Seungkwan that this person in front of him is both his Soonyoung and 5NT’s Hoshi.

Soonyoung he has learnt to relate to lavender being forcefully placed on top of his hard work, and jokes so bad they rival Seokmin’s, Soonyoung is listening to smooth electronic music and imagining what steps would look nice over it, he is laughter at 3AM and being shushed by Jun for the little sighs that escape him at such late hours, it’s the idea of having a coffee at Seokmin’s and maybe getting to have friends he doesn’t have to worry about every second of every day.

Hoshi on the other hand is a sass master; he is wisecracks that rile him up when he is in the middle of a mission, a disgusting dolphin laugh that makes him want to choke him for distracting him when he is doing his best to appear professional. Hoshi is a picture of a bad boy who works for the adrenaline and gets off on danger, who has a kind heart but also gets too excited about destroying the lives of Seoul’s richest douchebags. Worse of all, he is also a little smile on Wonwoo’s lips when he somehow manages to hack their tracking systems with Dino’s help, and Jeonghan’s frowns when he gets in the way to buy Coups the minutes he needs to finish a mission ahead of them.

He doesn’t know how to unify these two personalities into the person he has in front of him now, because the feelings he has regarding them are a little contradictory, a little love versus a little apathy, it’s a fight he doesn’t feel like having with himself at the moment, so he just decides that right now this is Soonyoung in front of him and he will just be Seungkwan, as strange as just Seungkwan might be.

“Good, so we agree this is a secret we’re going to keep until it decides to bite us in the butt, right?” Soonyoung asks, messing with his blue hair.

“Yes, I don’t know what else to do” Seungkwan answers honestly and sighs “Also, what are we going to do about Seokmin?”

“Go apologize? Tell him you stole the last candy bar from the vending machine in the third floor of the sociology building and that I called your mother something unholy?” They both stop for a moment at the impossibility of Soonyoung’s answer and then they both burst into fits of laughter “Can you imagine his face when he realizes we ditched him for something that stupid? We’re the worst”

“No, you are, I was just minding my business, getting a snack and you dishonored my mother” They both know they’re making light of the situation, because Seokmin is probably really hurt about their behavior and they don’t know how to fix it, but because they’ve also proven to be really stupid Seungkwan offers the only idea he has “You know he likes flowers, right? So what about…

* * *

 

It has been two days and Seokmin knows nothing of his friends, he isn’t sure he wants to know of them, but he feels their absence every hour that goes by and every minute he is met with nothing but silence from his phone. Sure, he has other friends, but these two have been blowing up his phone for two months and now there’s nothing, he wonders if maybe it’s his fault for forbidding pictures on the group chat, wanting for the meeting to be dramatic, it’s kind of ironic that in the end he had gotten what he wanted.

He feels stupid for jumping out of his skin every time a client walks into the shop being a little too loud, or how his heart stops whenever someone lingers by the chalkboard for too long. He wonders if they hate him as well, and if they will ever talk to him again, he wonders if he will answer to them if they do.

Going into work has never felt like a burden to him, it’s his coffee shop after all, he is doing what he loves the most and people really seem to enjoy it as well, if he has to wake up before the city does and walk three blocks from his little apartment to the store when the sun hasn’t yet managed to rise it’s a sacrifice he is more than contempt to make, it’s just these last couple of days he has felt a little heavier and his feet drag where they had never done that before.

He is still moping when he walks around the curb, waiting for the café to lift his spirits, looking like home in the middle of his drama.

 What he is not prepared for is for his little corner of the world to meet him with flowers so early in the morning. He knows clients like to leave old potted plants when they move or when they don’t want to care for them anymore, or they will leave freshly picked flowers on his board or even tape them to the windows when they’re feeling brave, but this, this is way too much for a person to do. The entire front, and he will guess the side as well, of the café is covered in small yellow and orange flowers, he is absolutely dumbfounded by it because it just might be the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, his little shop covered roof to floor in marigolds.

“Why are you crying?” Asks a panicked and familiar voice as Soonyoung pops his head from behind the chalkboard where he was poorly hiding “Oh my god, Seokmin, what is it?”

“We are so bad at this! Look you made him cry!” Seungkwan pops out of the other side of the board and it’s so ridiculous Seokmin would laugh if he wasn’t so busy crying his heart out.

“I made him cry? This was your dumb idea!” Soonyoung picks a marigold and throws it at Seungkwan’s face before walking up to Seokmin with worry “Are you okay? Why are you crying?”

“We’re sorry we ditched you last time, we honestly had met before but it wasn’t under the best circumstances and I guess we panicked” Seungkwan has also walked closer to Seokmin and he looks like he is about to start crying himself “We didn’t know what to do because what we did was so bad and we just wanted to apologize, we didn’t mean to make you cry, please stop”

Seokmin looks at his shop, covered in flowers and looking like it came straight out of a fairytale, and then he looks at the two boys in front of him, they look like they’ve gotten no sleep and their hair is a mess, they have leaves sticking to their pants and their hands look a little red, they’re both looking up to him with so much worry and so much adoration that he doesn’t think he can’t stop the tears streaming down his face, but the boys’ worry is misplaced, he is not crying because he is hurt or sad, he is relieved they are right in front of him and he is so happy that they had done such a thing for him, he is overwhelmed by how stupidly loved he feels.

“You dumb peanuts” He says before grabbing them both into a hug, he is laughing and crying and he doesn’t care, he has never been this happy before “You ugly, ugly things”

“Wow, thanks, I guess?” Answers Soonyoung from where the life is being squished out of him, a breathy laugh leaving his lips, relief at being forgiven coursing through his body and making him relax.

“No one has ever called me a dumb peanut so lovingly before” Seungkwan cracks from where he is pretending he doesn’t have little tears at the corners of his eyes.

“You still have a lot of explaining to do” Seokmin says as he releases the two of them and wipes his face “How about I spit in your coffee and we have a talk before I officially open?”

The boys make a disgusted face but they follow him into the store, the little corner table waiting for them were the sun is finally starting to rise and Seokmin walks to the bar to make them a good cup of coffee to bare their hearts into.

As they sit and finally talk about it, Seokmin can’t help but feel like there’s something missing from the story he’s getting but he’s not going to push it for now, they boys seem to have come to meet each other in a middle ground and they are doing their best to make it up to him for breaking his heart even if they don’t know that. Maybe that will be the secret he will keep from them to even the battlefield. The mood is warm and they’re all happy, they know Seungkwan is going to have to leave soon to get ready for class and that Soonyoung will crash no matter how much coffee he gets in his system because he has been preparing for this surprise as well as for his upcoming recital and hasn’t slept for who knows how long.

Whatever spell they’re under gets broken when Jimin walks into the store, his face in absolute disbelief and his bag held close to his chest.

“SEOK! Some bastard vandalized the store!” He seems distressed by the flowers but stops cold on his tracks when he spots the scene in the corner table of their café “Wow, of course it was the gremlins, why am I even surprised?”

Soonyoung and Seungkwan smile at him and this just makes him shudder in disgust; he looks at them and then looks at Seokmin, his shoulders straightening.

“I quit” is all he says before walking out of the door and leaving the three boys in shock.

It takes them all of two seconds before they burst out laughing, and Seokmin knows that this is not what he had imagined at all, but he is not sure he would trade it for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marigolds have too many meanings, but they can represent the want for good love relationships and are often offered to the gods.


	7. Pt. 2: Petunias

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Petunias are bad flowers for gifts, they represent anger and resentment, maybe some pent up sexual tension...

Choi Seungcheol is not a patient man, he is prone to bouts of boredom that end up in bloody knuckles and hospital trips, he is passionate about everything he does and likes to live his life giving it his all. He is not a selfish man either, he loves giving others a little bit of himself, throwing his efforts to help other’s causes because he understand that just because the world can be an ugly place doesn’t mean he has to like it and conform to it.

What he is; is a man with a powerful presence and who knows how to use it to his advantage. Intimidation is a tactic not a lot of groups use, especially not as directly as 5NT does, but Seungcheol has learned that facing the dirt that life throws at them is the best way to deal with it, direct and upfront, nowhere to hide from the truth and allowing fate to judge him for what he is and what he does, no secrets to hide; all sins exposed.

With everything that had happened in the last couple of months he had built a lot of frustration and anger, a lot of resentment and negative energy that doesn’t go away no matter how much he tries to burn it out of himself in the gym, he notices the team is growing restless and has started to take small jobs here and there; helping Bangtan with the bust of a sex trafficking ring seems a lot bigger than anything they’ve done since Joshua had left them but it’s also a way to put themselves together.

The first contact had been difficult, RM suggesting they send Jun undercover, making them almost end up in a fight because although Jun would have been more than capable of handling himself, the subject was still delicate to Seungcheol and he wouldn’t budge. Things had only gotten worse when he had discovered that because of the size of the organization they were going to be working as a joint unit with NCT and RsQ, they were even getting the help of Key, who had “retired” a couple of years earlier but whose’ group had been IT when it came to dealing with sex/human trafficking back in the day.

“Are you sure I can’t help?” Asked Chan for the fourth time since he started helping Seungcheol get his things ready “I don’t like the idea of you going alone”

“I’m not going alone, apparently everyone and their mother is going with me” He answered, strapping a knife to his calf “This is a big job but there’s too many smart heads, and they need some muscle power”

“Why is Hao not going with you then?” Chan asked, he was obviously worried about the situation “Or Soonyoung?”

“Because they’re both too smart, and too pretty” Chan made a face at this.

“And you’re not?” He asked, moving from where he was fixing Seungcheol’s bag and facing him, brushing his hair out of his face “You’re very pretty too, what if they take you?”

“I’m too big to be pretty, Chan” He said, shaking his head “You should worry about the house, you’re pretty much in charge if I’m not here, the others are too messy”

“They won’t listen to me anyways” Chan said, looking at his leader with too much admiration and love in his eyes, it made Seungcheol uncomfortable to know they depended this much on him “I just hope you’ll be back safe”

“I promise you, nothing will happen” He said and kissed Chan’s forehead, taking his bag from the bed and giving his youngest a reassuring smile “I promise”

Leaving Chan sitting alone in his bedroom felt somehow wrong, but he couldn’t help it, they were all too close to each other and had to rely on each other for comfort a lot more than usual the last couple of months, he had said his piece to all of his members the night before, and now it was too early for them to see him off, he had promised them all that he was going to come back home safe, the same way he had promised Chan.

He only hoped he could keep his promises.

* * *

 

Han had worked his fair share of times with Bangtan and he had to admit he admired them for what they did, he deals mostly with information but they actually get their hands dirty and help people get out of some of the worst situation imaginable, he constantly says he doesn’t have the stomach for it, but honestly he just doesn’t have the patience to know someone is hurting and not going head first into it, probably getting himself killed in the process. RM doesn’t quite know this but he is sure Suga does, which is why he is surprised when they reach out to him and his team for help.

This mission is important, it is quite big and a couple of groups are helping them with it, he makes a face at the fact that 5NT is one of them, but he also understands that Coups’ groups has manpower that other groups lack. He refuses Jihoon’s offer to go himself since he knows they need a little more hands on approach and rejects Seungkwan’s because sending their youngest into this gives him a bad feeling, so he gets ready and goes himself.

Han is not usually in the front lines, this is not because he is afraid or less experienced than anyone else, it’s just that he is better behind the curtains, pulling strings and keeping everything under a careful watch, he likes the shadows because they love him as well, he is one to be feared when in sight, but hidden in the darkness is where he is most deadly. For this mission he knows he will be front and center, he has gathered from what RM has told him they want him and TY to go in, they’re both very pretty and also very dangerous, so they can probably handle themselves if things go south.

He was expecting Moon to be there as well, if that was the approach they were taking, however he is faced with Seungcheol’s strong figure right in front of him as soon as he meets up with the group. They both look at each other for half a second and come to the agreement to ignore each other’s existence for the time being.

Bangtan’s hideout is actually quite big, they house six people and make a very competent group, it kind of rubs Han the wrong way to know Jin is also going with them, he considers himself quite attractive and knows for a fact that TY looks like he is not real, but they both have some roughness to them, they both seem to know how to handle themselves in ways that can intimidate, Jin on his part is just too pretty for words, and too soft for the world they live in, it makes Han want to complain but he knows looks can be deceiving so he shuts himself up.

JK, their youngest is also going in, a wall of a boy that looks like he could kill you either with his beautiful face or his bare hands, it makes Han a little calmer to know he is going to be by their side, and even if he hates to admit it, the fact that Seungcheol is going as well does too.

Seungcheol is also very pretty, but he is not there for his face, just like JK he is there for the muscle, the strength and the sense of security having him on their backs will bring them. He would have liked it for Shownu or Wonho to be there instead but he knows they’re out of the country and hates himself a little bit for only thinking about the awkwardness of the situation at the moment instead of concentrating one hundred percent on the mission at hand.

The organization they’re trying to take down is trying to hold a special dinner to celebrate how good they’re doing and have invited a lot of their influencing clients; it’s a way to make sure most people will stay away from it, and to make the dinner seem like a formal event and nothing more. It’s all very simple and yet it’s not, they are going in two groups; Jin’s and Han’s. Jin’s group will have JK and TY, they will be backed up by RM from a control room and their goal is to get to the higher ups of the organization by distracting them and planting bugs on them, whatever extra dirt they can get on them will be helpful if things escalate and having them at their disposition first is a great way to keep anything going underneath at hand.

Han’s group includes V, Hope and Seungcheol, and they will be under the careful watch of Suga. Their job is to go into the adjacent hotel where Bangtan is sure they’re holding about 25 people for the sex industry, some of them minors and immigrants, the thought of it making Han’s blood boil. Their job is to convince them to leave with them and get them to a safe place before the dinner is over or someone manages to notice that something is amiss.

To top it all they have Key’s distant help, his role as the son of an actual political figure getting them the access they need to the party and some extra muscle hidden in the guards the organization has contracted for the event. All in all it should be a tense evening but if they’re careful they might make it without any big accident occurring.

* * *

 

Maybe it’s bad luck or maybe it’s the fate that Joshua had warned him about, but somehow Seungcheol manages to find himself alone with Han in the middle of their mission, things were going better than expected and V had managed to charm one of the oldest girls in the place into helping them gain the trust of the rest and avoiding the security in the dinky hotel they were in. It had been about two hours since they had started and things were going too well, Jin’s group making small contacts here and there, skill going over force for the time being and the mission in general had them all into a optimistic mood.

Maybe that’s why they had relaxed enough to get separated, V and Hope taking the lead, forcing the both of them to stay alone in one of the few rooms they had managed to evacuate already, right under the nose of a guard that they were half convinced had to be one of Key’s or just plain stupid.

“I never imagined I’d be back at this, working with you and all” Han said, breaking the delicate silence that had spread over the room, it was dirty and poorly lit, the beds becoming an uncomfortable presence as a reminder of the things that had happened there “You look terrible”

“You shouldn’t talk to me like that, when was the last time you slept?” He answered, he wasn’t angry right now, he knew he had seen better days, but then again so had Han, there were bags under his eyes and his usually shiny hair seemed a little duller “Joshua really did fucked us over”

“Now, you are the one who shouldn’t talk like that, he did what was best for him” Han answered, his voice a little thin “After all, you’re the expert when it comes to that, aren’t you?”

“You really want to talk about it right now?” Cheol answered, taking the hit from what it had been; a direct attack to him and his past decisions “He was too young and too greedy, I’ve said it a hundred of times, I won’t retract”

“You didn’t have the right to send him away like that, no matter the reason” Han spit back, his eyes were so cold “You didn’t ask us, or him, I don’t think you even asked your conscience. Tell me; how do you sleep at night?”

“Like a baby, because it was the right thing to do!” They were getting a little too heated, almost touching noses with how close they were talking to each other; neither of them was backing up “Your selfishness would have killed him”

“Your pride did anyways!” Han said, his fists curling “What kind of live does he have now? He might as well be dead for all that matters!”

“Don’t you dare! He is safe, that’s all there is” Seungcheol’s head was asking him to calm down, this was not the place, but his body didn’t listen, his words just kept spilling over “I did what neither of you cowards could, it had to be done”

“You threw him away, like he was nothing” Han spat on his face “You never cared, you’re barely human Seungcheol”

“You don’t even know, I cared too much and that’s why I did it” Hearing his name being said with so much hate had shaken him a little bit “Your selfish self would never understand”

“He was mine, mine to keep and to care and you…” Han’s resolve seemed to crumble at this, they had kept it bottled for too long “I raised him myself, he was mine, you had no right…”

“You had to see it, the way we were ruining his life, you cannot be that dense Jeonghan” Cheol said, his own façade a little shaken, he could swear there were tears on the other’s eyes “I loved him too much to be responsible for destroying him like that, I loved you too much to let you do that to yourself”

“Fuck you, Cheol” Han answered, his voice strained “Fuck you, and everything you stand for, fuck you… how can you say that now? Do you even know how much I hurt over this? Because I hated you and I loved you and you did this to us”

“it had to be done” It had been years and yet to hear the word love come out of Han’s lips made him shiver “Why is it you can never see it? Even Woozi accepted it; you took him from me as well”

“I had to hurt you back, and he agreed with you, I couldn’t… god, I’m such a waste of a human being” Han said and the tears finally spilled “I just had to punish you all for it”

“I know” Cheol said, he hated it that he couldn’t do more “I can’t believe we’re finally talking about this in a dirty sex den after all these years”

“Shut up, this is how I always imagined it, ugly and undesirable, the only thing we’re missing is Joshua to hit us both” Han laughed a little bit at this “He’s going to kill us”

“Why? We still hate each other, this doesn’t change the fact I took him from you, or the fact you still have trouble understanding why” Cheol said, honestly “This is just a temporary truce because lives are at stake right now”

“A truce, then” Han said, cleaning his face and putting the mask back up “Let’s do this fast then, I don’t usually make deals with the devil”

“Thank goodness! I didn’t know how to butt in and tell you to keep your disgusting sexual tension to yourselves” Suga cut in from their in ears, making them both jump in surprise “Also, the hall is free and the room two doors to your left has children in it, go do your damn job”


	8. Pt.3: Hyacinths

Yoon Jeonghan knows he is unworthy of a lot of the things he has, like the family he cherishes and the life style they uphold with their work, he knows he doesn’t deserve the friends that still walk beside him or the love he receives every day from the people around him, he is not even sure if he deserves the food he eats everyday or a shelter to cover him at night, because how can he deserve the most basic human resources to meet his needs when he consciously wakes up every day to the knowledge there’s people who don’t even have that and that he could change it but doesn’t.

Looking at this room, one single bed carefully arranged and flowers in a vase next to it, completely different from the hole they had just come from, makes his stomach turn. This room is a little way from the others, but it’s well lit and smells like roses, it has clean white walls and a mirror on the ceiling, red is all he can see and he doesn’t know if it’s the rage boiling in his veins or if it’s the curtains that delicately dance in front of him. This room is not a cage to keep the people they’re here to help; it’s a torture chamber covered in roses without thorns.

There should be two girls in it, but the bathroom is closed and they probably are scared of the two big brutes that entered their room, it makes something unpleasant curl in his stomach to think they might look at him and think he’s one of them, to be afraid of him for all the wrong reasons.

“Malena came earlier, if I’m not wrong, she told you there was help on the way, we’re here to help you, I swear” Han said, his voice low, his tone sweet “We promise you, we won’t touch you, but we need to go right now”

“What about the big one?” A small voice comes from the bathroom, too small for comfort.

“I’m here to protect you, to stop anyone from hurting you anymore” Han had forgotten how delicate Seungcheol could be, his tone so soft and calming “No harm will come your way but we’re running out of time and we still have two more people to help”

“Xixi and Ren, I know… ok, we’ll trust you, but only because Malena said so” The door opens slowly, three little heads peaking, too small, too skinny, too pretty for the life they had until now “If you do anything; we’ll scream”

“Okay, okay” Answered Seungcheol, his voice strained, probably as angry as Jeonghan was about the situation “Suga, can we move them?”

“Wait a second, V just got the room I saved for you last, it’s similar to the one you have right now and he’s not good at handling things when the victims are this young” Suga sounded busy, a little worried “Fuck, okay, I need Jeonghan to distract the guard in the hall, V will punch him if he goes in”

“You should let him” Said Han, already messing up his hair and looking at Cheol “Get them out of here”

Jeonghan went out to the hall, slowly making himself noticeable to the guard that was about to walk into Vhope’s room, his feet dragging and trying to appeal like a drunk patron that decided to move from the party and champagne to the more private side of things. The guard wasn’t that much bigger than him, he had a gun and two knifes from what Han could see, he also looked a little dumb, he could probably take him out if things came to the worst.

“Hey handsome, are you one of the beauties the boss promised me?” He slurs, his eyes focusing on the wall next to the guard and dragging his hands all over his chest to feel him up for something he might have missed from his first evaluation “I didn’t think they made them this big and strong, but I love it?”

“I’m going to ask you to take your hands off of me, I’m not one of the whores” The guard said, shaking Han off “We also don’t take drunken patrons, so you need to leave”

“What? But I paid for a good time” He answers and moves back, trying to take the guard with him, away from the rooms were Seungcheol, V and Hope were in “What do you mean? I’m not even drunk”

“Sir, please, I would hate to use force on such a pretty face” The guard answers, probably irritated by his antics.

“Ooh, so you say I’m pretty? Don’t you want to see the rest of it?” He flirts and pulls, somehow managing to take the exasperated guard a couple of feet away, pushing him against one of the doors.

What he doesn’t expect it’s for the door to be unlocked and for the two of them to fall into the room, thankfully it was empty and one of the clean pretty ones, two vanilla scented candles keeping the mood of the room ready for strangers.

“Wow, must be fate. But I hoped to be the one on the bottom at least” Pouted Jeonghan from where he was laying on top of the poor baffled guard.

“Coups is out, V and Hope will take two more minutes” Informed Suga, his tone a little strained “Keep it up, please. But be careful, don’t take it too far”

“Sir, if you don’t take your hands away right now I will be forced to kick you out, no matter how important you think you are” The guard warned, it was pretty clear by his tone he was annoyed with the situation “There should be a perfectly good whore for you right here, how about you give me your receipt and I fix her for you”

“I don’t do ‘hers’” Jeonghan answered and then rolled himself off the guard, keeping his drunken façade and letting the guard fix himself up.

“You might do this one. Girl, come out, you have a job to do” He called and Han’s blood ran cold when he remembered there was no one left to answer “Girl?”

“Get the fuck out right now” Suga warned in his ear, he knew it was matter of time before the guard realized something was wrong.

Han got up like a flash, his lithe limbs allowing him to get to the door in a flash, but the guard was just as fast as he was and maybe he had judged him wrong because he had caught up to the situation pretty fast. As soon as Jeonghan had put a feet out of the door, the guard had taken his gun and pointed it at his head, his eyes sharp and cold.

“Who are you with? The police?” The guard asked, his eyes never leaving Han’s frozen figure “You better talk, the boss will not like this and he’s not a kind man”

“I’m not with the police” Han answered, his hands going to up and backing himself out of the room and into the hall’s wall “I’m just here for a good time”

“A good time my balls, if you value your life you better start talking” The guard said, making show of the gun in his hand “I have killed for less”

“I’m really not with the police” Han repeated, this was something they had not accounted for, he needed a chance to disarm the guard and knock him out but his options were limited at the moment.

“Han, Cheol went back to help, hold on” Suga said in his ear “We’ll get you out, don’t make him shoot; it’ll call unnecessary attention since he’s the only one to notice”

“You even have an ear piece” The guard said, angrily, he had noticed Han’s focus going to the left and put the pieces together “Last chance; talk”

“Tell the kids I’m sorry” was all Han said before throwing himself at the guard.

* * *

Seungcheol hated to think this bump in the road had happened right at the last moment, they had almost made it out safely but now everything was going south, Han getting caught and probably killed would be a blow they would never recover from, not him, not the teams, nor the community, he was well loved like that. Han wasn’t exactly the best company for him but he was a social butterfly and had managed to make friend with even the most bitter of underground workers, he knew it was also because he had worked for a drug cartel before and had made a lot of influential acquaintances that still missed him and would give him a pass every now and then, even if they knew well that he worked against them and everything they stood for.

He was just around the corner when he heard him.                 

“Tell the kids I’m sorry”

The words made his heart stop and his feet work faster, he could only imagine what would happen if Han managed to get himself killed somehow, it would be the biggest lost to the community since last December; they were definitely not ready for it. He made it to the hall just in time to see Han getting hit in the face with the handle of the gun as he had managed to take the guard by surprise and stab him in the thigh. This was not enough, the guard had enough time to recover and aim at his chest, the shot would go in clean, and there was not much he could do about it.

Maybe it’s because he knows how much Han is really worth to the world, his kindness big enough to make do for his pettiness and pride, his intelligence too great, his skill much appreciated. Maybe it’s the fact he knows how much Joshua loves him, or how much Jihoon does, definitely it is how much he himself loves him still. Maybe it’s the fact he is too selfless and that he’s got too much muscle to think clearly, maybe it’s the fact he has too big of a heart. He really doesn’t know, but somehow he finds himself moving before he can stop himself; he is running against time.

There’s a clear piercing sound as the gun is shot.

There’s a deafening silence that follows.

* * *

 

Jeonghan is pretty sure he heard the gun go off, he knows the ringing in his ears is from the sound of a shot being taken, he knows he should be in pain right now and probably saying his last to the world and yet somehow he is not, he finds himself frozen as he knows there’s someone in front of him, and he finds he can’t believe Seungcheol had just taken a bullet for him.

He finds that there’s a sense of urgency rushing through his veins and that he can’t even dare to think about the fact that Seungcheol had decided his life was worth more than his own, he can’t take the fact that maybe he won’t be the one dying tonight and this is where he loses it. He can hear Suga cursing in his ear but it’s muffled by his heartbeat and his vision goes red.

In all the time Jeonghan had been working in the underground, first as a drug handler himself, then as a sort of vigilante, he had never taken a life. He had stabbed people, and laced drinks with drugs that would give them a bad time, he knows how to punch people in the right places to incapacitate them and where to put a knife to make it hurt a lot, but he has never actually killed, even if he knows how to do it cleanly and fast, he had tried his best to keep his record free of another sin to confess on his last stand.

He knows he had promised himself to never do it, to keep the blood on his hands to a minimum and to only attack for self defense, but at this moment in time he doesn’t even know if he’s human anymore; he is pure rage and can’t be controlled. Before he knows it he has managed to round Seungcheol’s trembling figure and use the same knife he had used to stab the guard in the thigh before to stab him  somewhere else, somewhere he knows will be final. Soon all he sees is blood.

“For fuck’s sake, Han” He hears Suga’s panicked voice in his ear “Have you both gone mad? Hope, go get these bastards out before Han does more damage and Coups bleeds the fuck out”

“Fuck, I’m already working hard on not doing that” Said Seungcheol, his voice strained from the pain “Good thing you’re a little shorter and the bastard had shit pulse”

“Shut up, you just got shot” Han demanded, dropping himself next to Seungcheol, looking at his bleeding abdomen, the bullet had gone in right under his ribs but they had no way to know how bad it was. Taking one of his shirts to apply pressure to the wound made it all real for him “Oh god! You just got shot!”

“I noticed” Seungcheol answered, trying his best not to look at his abdomen. A cough threw them both into panic when they noticed this just made the blood flow get stronger “Never imagined going out like this”

“Shut up, oh my god, shut up” Han was panicking way more than Seungcheol was, his hands could not stop shaking “You’re not dying, shut the fuck up”

“I might, I feel like death already, and I’m so dizzy” He was losing too much blood, too fast, if they didn’t get him out soon he would not make it to their hospital “I’m sorry about Samuel”

“Don’t” Han said sharply, he was not having it, the wound was low in Seungcheol’s ribcage but his breathing was not so constricted, he hoped his lungs were okay, he hoped it was nothing “It’s okay, you’re going to be okay, don’t you fucking dare”

“I always wanted to kiss you one more time before I died” Seungcheol said, his vision failing him, he could feel himself going into shock from the pain “I never wanted it to be like this, thought”

“You’re not dying, you stupid drama queen” Jeonghan said, but he complied, he took his bloody hands and cupped Seungcheol’s face, kissing him like they had not spent the last four years and a half steaming in resentment and hatred.

It lasted for more than either of them would ever admit, and they enjoyed it more than they would ever dare to voice, there were too many emotions mixed in the moment and yet it felt like going home after being away for so long, they hated to accept they had never gotten over each other, or to conceit the other had so much power over them, that they still dreamed about the past and that they still had the tiniest bit of hope stored in their hearts that refused to die. There were tears in Jeonghan’s eyes and Seungcheol could barely keep himself conscious anymore but it was worth every second for them both.

“Thank you” Seungcheol whispered when they broke apart, his eyes barely finding Jeonghan’s for a second before everything around him went black.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry?  
> Hyacinths are honest flowers, prefect to lay all your feelings to, but also they are very rash, so this is what you get.


	9. Pt. 4: Peonies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For good fortune and healing...

Lee Chan is young both in body and in heart but he has this air of maturity around him most of the time, he is calm and collected, and usually the one voice of reason in the little group of misfits that Jun loves to call family and home. Chan is such a mature person that often times it’s easy to forget how young he actually is, always studying hard when they are not working and working hard when he is not studying, always dedicated to do the most out of his abilities and time, always ready for the situation, always one step ahead of all of them…

But now…

Now it’s painfully obvious to all present how young he really is, how delicate he is, how fragile his heart is and how thin this skin he makes an armor out of really is. They are all shaken up, the news about Seungcheol getting shot are not news they like but they had grown somehow used to their leader being careless and getting hurt way too often for comfort, what they are not used to is for the injuries to require him to be put in a hospital, to require surgery and a week minimum of stay. What they are not used to is for everyone to be pale faced when they give them the news, and for Han of all people to be crying rivers about their leader being hurt.

What they are most definitely not used to is for Chan to break down in tears at the sight of blood all over Han’s hands and clothes, it breaks all of their hearts to see him like that but they also understand, because if they were as young as Chan is then it would make sense for them to do the same, but it doesn’t even feel real for him to be reacting like so, so they all bite their tongues and swallow their own distress in favor of trying their best at keeping their youngest together.

Jun has always being one of the most caring to them all so he just pulls Chan’s trembling form into a hug while Soonyoung sandwiches him from the back, giving him little kisses at the back of the head, trying to reassure him that everything is going to be fine. Hao is a little distant, but he knows that what his group needs right now is certainty that their leader will be alright and that they will make it out of there in one piece. So he walks straight to Han and pins him down with the most serious stare he can muster at the moment.

“What actually happened back there?” He asks, they had very little information since they had just rushed to the hospital when they had found out Coups was hurt, they didn’t really know how or why, just that he had gotten shot and was probably bleeding out in a surgery table somewhere in the cold building “He is not this easy to take down”

“No, but I am, apparently” Han laughs, his beautiful face distorted by a disgruntled gesture “That should be me right now, he just took it instead. Why did he do that? That should be me…”

“How come you are both this dense?” Hao asks, because it’s a little strange to realize that two of the most powerful people he knows are reduced to bloody messes at the moment “You’re so disgustingly in love it makes all of us want to vomit, of course he took a bullet for you”

“Wait, what?” Han seems surprised at this, his tear halting at the mention of the L word “Who said anything about…love?”

“Damn, this is why Joshua left us all to rot, you’re honestly so dumb” He says, he knows he probably should try to have some tact, but at the moment he is tired and scared out of his wit, his honest and sharp tongue the only thing left “This hate act you have on each other, it’s very obviously the worst case of pent up sexual tension I have ever seen, and for what we all know you used to date before whatever the big fight you had was about, what even made you think you could get over each other if you practically do the same work and see each other every other day, even if it is to “spit venom” at each other?”

“It’s been years” Han says, voice small and weak “almost four this November”

“Yeah, I know, it’s about how long we’ve been together” He knows he sounds bitter, the little hints of ever present jealousy making themselves clear on his words “And yet we’ve never been enough to fill whatever hole you left on him”

“What are you talking about? Look, maybe it’s true and we’ve been caught up in each other for forever long, but whatever you guys have… it is home and warm and I’ve seen Seungcheol on the happiest moments of his life; you sure are the reason of the vast majority of them, whatever it is that we have it’s no match to the love that idiot has for you all” Han says and he thinks about it for a second before grabbing Hao’s hand in his “He will be okay, he is taller than me and the guard had shit pulse. He will be fine, I promise.”

* * *

 

Whatever normal was, Joshua was not sure he had found it nor he was sure he would have liked it, it had been months since he had left half his heart behind him and tried to go on a quest for this _normal_ he had always thought he longed for, only now he was realizing that normal for him involved stitching up idiots at four AM; it was going for rides on Soonyoung’s death trap of a motorcycle or Minghao’s lovely beachside walks, it was drinking with Jun and going shopping with Mingyu; playing video games with Wonwoo and eating junk food with Jihoon; normal for him was to help Chan study late at night and going karaoke singing with Seungkwan; it was laying down on grassy hills to look at the stars with Seungcheol and kissing his bruises away; it was going for coffee with Jeonghan and talking about life, having a laugh at the universe’s sense of humor and maybe kissing his hands to warm them up.

Normal for Joshua would be to drink poison every morning and allowing his friends to pull him in every direction he could go because they could not decide to walk along the same path even if the goals they all had would be easier to achieve if they only swallowed their pride as he did and moved on.

Moving on…

Now there was something Joshua had always been terrible at, it was in this aspect that he was most similar to his friends, just like Jeonghan could never let go from his resentment and hurt, and like Seungcheol refused to move over his pride and _stronger than all_ façade; he himself could never move on from his place in the middle, from the feelings that kept him up at night aching and missing a time of peace he knew would never be returned to him.

He was so bad at moving on and maybe that was normal for him.

What normal was never for him was for his heart to become so frail that every time his phone rang he thought the worst, he had made clear that he wanted distance but kept hoping they would ignore him and talk to him nonetheless, he was afraid they would call him and that he would not answer, finally burning all the bridges he had hoped to just close temporarily. What normal was never for him was for his phone to vibrate in the middle of the day, when everyone and their cats knew he was working and would not take calls unless someone was dying.

“What?” He answered short, he was upset but also he had the tinniest bit of hope in his heart “Someone better be dying for you to be calling right now”

“Hyung….” This stopped him cold on his tracks, he had not looked at the caller ID but he knew it had to be someone from 5NT by the ringtone, he never expected to hear Chan’s sweet voice sounding so broken “Cheol got shot, he is in T.H.E hospital, we don’t…. we don’t know”

“Where’s Hansol?” He asked, his blood going cold, for Seungcheol to get hurt was normal, for Chan to be crying about it was not.

“He is inside, he took charge of it as soon as we got here but… we don’t know, we just don’t know anything, why won’t they tell us anything?”  The words made Joshua dizzy; for Seungcheol to break his heart was normal, for Chan to do so was not.

“I’ll be right there, don’t worry, everything will be okay” He said, there was not much else he could say at the moment “He will be okay, I promise.”

He hung up and took a second to reconsider whatever his life was, whatever his normal was, whatever his feeling were… if he ran out of the actual hospital right now he would no doubt get fired, there was no way he could justify such actions, they were not normal. But if he didn’t go, if he stayed and something happened to Seungcheol, if he stayed and let Chan cry himself into a panic attack, he would never forgive himself, he wouldn’t be able to keep living with the knowledge he could have done something to help.

Joshua Hong, cardiologist, calmest soul in the whole hospital… to see him running out of the place like it was on fire, his eyes sharp and committed; this was not _normal._ Joshua Hong, lover, friend, dedicated soul to his family… making all the wrong choices to make all of the people he loved happy, sacrificing himself for them, giving them all he had and more, this was it, whatever normal he’d been looking for...

This was **_it_**.

* * *

 

Vernon had gotten used to Korea by now, the system in Seoul was quite different from New York but what they needed from him had stayed the same no matter where he was; they wanted him fast and silent. He had agreed to work at the weirdest hospital he had ever worked in before, to know they had made an old run down building into a top notch medical facility and decided to just call it T.H.E Hospital had made him laugh for a good half an hour, this before realizing that this place was run by every organization that did underground work and therefore was destined to see a lot of gruesome injuries and even the occasional death.

Right now he was sweating bullets; his work adequately related to the question, his hands full of blood but the worst of it already over. He wondered how Joshua did it, how he managed to keep up with his work at a regular hospital and then do extra rounds in this place, to dedicate his time to heal ordinary people just to put extraordinary humans back together after that. Coups was one of the most extraordinary humans he had ever met but it was also one of the most difficult ones to put back together, not because his injury was that bad but because it seemed that his blood refused to stay in his body no matter the fact the bullet  had already been removed and that nothing vital had been pierced, Hansol would have to put it down to a blood problem, maybe drugs, maybe the adrenaline that was surely still cursing through his body, or maybe this was just something Coups did on the daily; bleed so that those he loved didn’t have to.

When he finally managed to get him patched up and stable he realized that it had taken him quite a while and that the rest of 5NT (and probably a good portion of RSQ too at this point) were left in the darkness, if only because the hospital operated under a strict privacy policy and only he was allowed to discourse the information of the patients under his care. He took his time to get clean and primed, this to avoid scaring anyone more than they needed to be, it had been a stressful night already; the least they needed was for Vernon to show up all covered in blood and looking like a truck had run him over.

“How is him?”

“Is he okay?”

“Is he even alive?”

“Can we see him?”

All at once the question started assaulting him as soon as he met the others in the waiting room, he knew this would happen and just raised his hands to ask everyone to chill for a second so he could answer them.

“He is stable, and will probably recover smoothly, he will be under the anesthetics for an hour more but after he wakes up you might start visiting” He looked at all the people that were hanging onto his every word, some of them were trembling and Dino was even crying “One of you might keep him company until then, but you have to be quiet and let him rest”

All of 5NT exchanged looks at this, they seemed to be having a deep conversation by just looking into each other’s eyes, and after a moment they all seemed to come to the same conclusion because Dino stepped forward.

“I’m staying with him” He said, his voice firm even if his body seemed just about ready to fall apart.

“Fine, follow me. Everyone else; I’ll try to keep you updated”

“Thank you, really, you don’t know how thankful we are for your help” Said Hoshi, a honest smile on his lips, barely reaching his eyes “Take care of them for a little bit longer”

“I’ll do just that” Vernon answered and took Dino into the room they had cleared for Coups to recover.

* * *

 

When Joshua finally arrived to T.H.E hospital the first thing he did was run straight to Jeonghan’s arms, no hellos, no apologies, no words needed to describe all he was feeling and needed to say, after all Jeonghan was pretty much a mirror of him at the moment, all fear and no more bravado left. They finally allowed themselves to breathe for a second, all the time they had spent apart slowly stitching itself together and allowing them to bring some peace to their aching hearts.

“He’s okay, Vernon is really good, you left us in good hands” Is what Jeonghan says into his hair, his hands still embracing him.

“I left you, is all that matters” Joshua can barely speak from the relief he feels at the words, the guilt nagging at his chest “I left you”

“And as soon as we needed you; you came back” Jeonghan says, his words hold no bitterness, no resentment “You came back and that’s all that matters”

“I left” Joshua repeats and then they are both crying like idiots, how mental they must look to all of the people in the room “And I’m never leaving again, I can’t”

“I won’t let you, I can’t” Jeonghan pushes them apart for a second so he can look into his eyes and let him see his resolve “I won’t let neither of you leave again, I can’t”

“Neither of us?” Joshua looks confused for a second, but then he _looks_ at Jeonghan and he sees the bloody handprint on his face, the way his lips are permanently stained red and how he seems to have taken a weight off of his shoulders.

Joshua left looking for normal but he had already resigned himself to the fact that whatever normal was; it was not for him. But now, in the middle of the waiting room, surrounded by half the underground society, held in Jeonghan’s trembling arms and blood covered hands; he realizes that this is the most normal he’s going to get and that he could never escape from it, no matter how hard he tried, so he does the normal thing to do when in situations like that and kisses the lights out of Jeonghan, making a mental note in his head to do the same to Seungcheol as soon as he was physically allowed.


	10. Pt. 5: Gardenias

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bitter like coffee, pure like a love that's still untold.

Even with all the money that was invested into the hospital, most of it went into paying for the secrecy of it to maintain, the rest of it went into drugs and equipment, and only a small fraction went into the rooms and facility being more comfortable than it absolutely needed it to be. The chairs in the waiting room were hard and the air too cold, it was universal at least for all hospitals to be difficult for families to be, for friends to rest, for patients to recover in peace. It made everything just a little bit worse, but it also kept the world in check with reality, no place to hide from the situation.

Soonyoung was tired, his body felt heavy with anxiety and worry, he had tried to keep the mood of the room, holding Hao and Jun close to him, doing his best not to let them see how scared he was about the prospect of Seungcheol dying on them just like that. It had taken a blow on their hearts to see Chan so scared, never one to let others know when he needed care, always having his hyungs going at him when he least expected it but definitely most needed it.

Even more unusual it was for Han and Joshua to had become a mess of limbs on the waiting room floor, all tears and kisses and other disgusting lovely words that they had been keeping guarded for way too long, it was clear that whatever had happened had made the leaders of RSQ and 5NT get their heads out of their asses and actually talk, finally admitting to themselves what was painfully obvious to everyone else; that the fight they were having was stupid, and that they would be better together. He wondered if maybe he was clueless, because he was one of the few who seemed to not have noticed that Han and Cheol were disgustingly in love with each other still, he just thought they hated each other but wanted to bang real bad, he didn’t think there were feelings involved. He had walked away from all the tears for a moment, needing air to get into his lungs before he passed out and had to be taken care of as well, thinking about what this would mean for him.

“You’re thinking too hard” A familiar voice whispered into his ear as a pair of warm arms embraced him from behind “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine” He answered and wiggled his way into facing Seungkwan, he looked worried but there was nothing to be worried about at the moment “Coups is going to be fine, so I’m fine”

“It’s okay to be scared, I was scared and Han is okay, I can’t even imagine” His words were so soft, it’s in moments like this where Soonyoung could really make a clean break between snarky Boo and lovely Seungkwan, a new part to his all “You are allowed to not be okay”

“Am I?” He asks, because he doesn’t know if the other is telling the truth, he felt somehow obligated to make sure the others are happy before anything else.

“Yes, you are” Seungkwan held him a little tighter and kissed his forehead, running his hands on his back, delicate fingers making him melt into the embrace.

“Okay” Soonyoung said, because it’s all he can say, and allows himself to be comforted instead, never mind that anyone could walk out on them at the moment, or that his body doesn’t honestly know how to unwind, he doesn’t cry or shake or crumble, he just lets all the bad air out of his lungs and takes in the soft chamomile scent that’s coming from Seungkwan, his mind going blank.

 

* * *

 

Chan hated hospitals, the smell of them, the bright lights, the aura of sickness and death that stuck to him and made him want to double over and vomit if he stayed for too long, it was a painful process for him to keep his leader company while he slept but he also knew that if someone were to try and remove him he would either bite them or punch them in the face. He couldn’t remember the last time Seungcheol had seemed so small to him, always a wall of man in front of him, protecting him from the world and keeping them safe, never wavering, always unmoving. It was breaking his heart.

Hansol was an uncomfortable shadow that refused to leave, and so he couldn’t let his feelings show anymore. He couldn’t believe he had cried but he had felt like the world was collapsing around him at the moment, now he only felt anger at the fact there was nothing he could do but wait and hold Seungcheol’s hand until his leader decided to open his eyes.

“Are you comfortable?” Hansol asked, his voice so soft it made Chan want to slap him.

“Yes” He wanted to ignore him but he actually owed his entire world to the man.

“You’re shaking” Hansol pointed out and offered him a blanket “These rooms are cold and you’ve had a rough night”

“I’m fine” He rejected it, he couldn’t take his hands away from Seungcheol’s, if he did he would lose it again.

“It’s okay not to be okay” Hansol said as he carefully draped the blanket around Chan’s shoulders “I’m not here to judge you, or try you, or provoke you. I’m just here to help”

Chan looked at the man, carefully for the first time, noticing how young he seemed to be, couldn’t be that much older than him. He noticed how honest his eyes were, how careful his hands had been at not really touching him, how he had blood on his sleeve from putting Seungcheol back together and saving his life. He noticed the bags under his eyes, the wrinkles on his brow, the bouncing of his leg and his carefully posed hands, too practiced, ready to appease and avoid confrontation.

“Thank you” He answered honestly. Tears were stinging in his eyes but he refused to let them fall in front of this stranger, no matter how nice he seemed to be.

“You’re welcome” Hansol’s voice was so soft, his smile so honest, it made Chan want to puke.

“Can you leave?”

“What?”

“Can. You. Leave?”

Hansol seemed absolutely perplexed by such a request, if he’s honest he’s surprised as well, he didn’t really think much before talking but he really needs Hansol to leave the room or he’s going to be sick and that wouldn’t be a very nice to do when he’s supposed to be taking care of Seungcheol. He doesn’t really know what’s come over him but he holds the other boy’s gaze until Hansol seemingly gives up and slowly walks out of the room after a small bow.

He really doesn’t know why he did that. He doesn’t know why Hansol made him so uncomfortable or why he feels like crying now that he’s technically alone in the room, the cold air making him shiver and the sound of the machines keeping track of Seungcheol’s vitals grating on his nerves. Chan had never been one to let his emotions take control of him like this, he will blame it on the stress and the worry. He will blame it on the coldness of the room and the sterile smell of the room, and the panic of the moment, and the beeping of the machines, he will blame it on the moment as a whole, because the only other choice is to blame it on the guilt he feels at the fact that for a second he had thought that Hansol face was nice to look at, and that his voice had been so warm and welcomed, and that he really wanted him to stay, because being technically alone in a hospital room terrified him like nothing else in the world.

“Channie?” Seungcheol’s voice was rough and confused, his hand tightening around Chan’s, his grip so weak he barely noticed “Why are you crying?”

“Because of you; stupid. Why else?” He answered as he choked on a sob, he felt absolutely out of it, this was not his body, he didn’t really cry in front of others like this “You scared me… You scared us”

“I’m fine, a little battered, but I’m fine” Seungcheol said and tried to reach his face to wipe his tears away “I promised nothing would happen, didn’t I?”

“Something did happen, you got… you got shot!” Chan said as he scooted closer to his leader, to this man he had allowed himself to make a home out of “I’m so glad you’re okay”

“I’m glad I’m okay too” Seungcheol answered and he softly caressed Chan’s cheek, whipping his tears away, a tired smile on his face “Is everyone else okay?”

“Yes. Everyone else just got a scratch or two, Han got a cut on his hand from stabbing the bastard that shoot you, thought.” He answered, remembering how the other team’s leader had looked; hands bloody and tear streaked face. “Should I call everyone? They’ll want to see you”

“In a little, how about we take a second?” Seungcheol was still looking at him with something akin to worry in his eyes, his hands incredibly careful around his hand and face, maybe he could see all of the cracks on Chan’s façade and wanted to give him a moment to fix himself, maybe he was just tired from losing so much blood.

Whatever it was it was clear that the couple of minutes of private silence they needed before the others came barreling down were needed and for both parties. For Chan the room was still freezing, and the smell of sickness made him want to be sick, the white walls dizzied him, the beeping machines drove him insane and the guilt was still eating at his core, but for the moment Seungcheol’s hands were all he needed for things to be okay. They would be fine, Seungcheol had promised, and he had never broken a promise before.


End file.
